Detention With Umbridge
by leakyfanfic
Summary: Joe Walker (TSK) is a new student at Hogwarts, and ends up on the wrong side of Umbridge. (Note this is crack fic)


"Mr. Joseph Walker…detention, my office after dinner." Umbridge said pursing her lips.

"Yes Professor" I reply looking in to my lap. How could I have been so stupid? Here I thought Hogwarts was going to be so much better than Pigfarts. Only my second day and I already have detention with Professor Umbridge, who has a vile reputation.

I try to get through class without being noticed, and I pretty much succeed, until on my way out I hear "Walker…detention after dinner DO. NOT. FORGET." she says with a…wink. That could not have been a wink from the most hated professor at Horwarts. There is no way.

The rest of my day flies by, next thing you know I am sitting with my housemates at the Slytherin table in the great hall eating dinner. I have to say, the food here is way better than at Pigfarts.

"Walker I heard you managed detention on your second day. That is impressive." Goyle says.

"Ugh…I had tried to forget about that. My parents will kill me, and she…she's strange. Too much pink." I reply.

"Wait until you see her office" Goyle laughs with the rest of the table joining him.

They go off on another subject, which honestly just sounds like background noise…what in heck could be in her office that would cause that reaction? I do NOT want to go to this detention at all. And what was that wink? I wish Draco were here, I could ask him about that stupid wink.

I get more and more nervous the closer I get to Umbridge's office. Professors offices always make me nervous, even when it isn't for detention. Honestly, this is my first detention. I just, I don't even know what to think. I knock softly on the door hoping she won't hear me so I can run and hide in the dungeons with my…I guess they are friends.

"Come in" I hear her say with a small squeak.

"Hi Profes….." I stop looking at the professor in shock.

"Is something wrong Mr. Walker?" She asks fingering her collar.

"I should…I should wait outside while you change. I thought you would be expecting me." I reply trying to look away from her sheer pink robe which is open to show a pink lace bra with matching panties.

"I was" she says as she locks the door behind me. "This will be your detention tonight."

"I am not sure this is entirely appropriate professor. I don't know how things work here at Hogwarts, but at Pigfarts…"

"I do not care how things work anywhere. This is my school now, as you know. Dumbldore only pretends to be in charge, but really it is me. I saw you practicing shirtless for Quidditch tryouts yesterday, and you are just so delicious. Then you acted out today, so I took my chance." She interrupts.

I stare in shock at what she just said when she mutters a spell…wandless. The next thing you know I am restrained to the wall by…

"Are these…stuffed CATS professor?" I ask in horror as I try to free my ankles and wrists from what I could only compare to as bondage shackles.

"Yes they are, I surely can't use real ones, and I like cats as I am sure you noticed by my walls." she replies.

I had been too distracted to notice that her walls were covered in pink cat plates.

"So what does this detention entail Professor?" I ask hoping to sidetrack her. "Do I need to practice wandless magic to write lines?"

"No…It will entail you making up for your disruptions in class today by…"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

BOOM

The door to Umbridge's office is blasted open.

"Professor you will free Mr. Walker and report to my office immediately…and in some appropriate clothing. Mr. Walker you will proceed to Madame Pomfrey's to be checked out. I am glad you told Mr. Goyle about your detention tonight. He had the sense to tell Professor Snape who I found on his way down here. Let me assure you this is not welcomed behavior in my school." Dumbledore announces.

"Dumbledore you can do nothing to me, I am here on the Minister's wishes." Umbridge protests puffing out her half naked chest.

"Dolores…not even Voldemort himself would overlook this." Dumbledore says as he exits the room.

Professor Snape wraps his arm around me now that I am free, and starts to usher me up to the hospital wing.

"Next time any vile woman tries to take advantage of you please let me know. I will take care of them myself. I will be taking a special interest in you boy. I heard wonderful things about you from the Malfoy's, I heard that you aim to please." Snape says tenderly and with a wink.

Oh this is so much more my style. I have a feeling I will be having dreams about Professor Snape after tonight.


End file.
